They attacc, they protecc, but most importantly, they relaccccccc.

“Bring me my scotch.”

Instagram: @mallophaga

“Wait, is Meryl ACTUALLY gonna be on Big Little Lies?!”

Instagram: @adorabull

“Jeez, you drive like an escaped felon, Richard!”

Instagram: @allizzent

“Shit! Is it my turn to pick the kids up from school?”

Instagram: @teekafraser

“Cheryl, I know you wanted to spice things up in the bedroom, but THIS?!?!?!”

Instagram: @coupleofcockers_

“All that’s ever on the news these days is incoherent barking.”

Instagram: @caitlinsok

*Drags cigarette* “The company is downsizing and the first division they’re making cuts to is — you guessed it — sales.”

Instagram: @bugandpennypugparty

“I brought orange slices for halftime for the little soccer stars!”

Instagram: @swijnen

“If I’m being totally honest, I’m a little worried about your excessive butt-sniffing, Denise.”

Instagram: @danelifewith_kumah_and_nala

“This episode of Black Mirror is getting too real…”

Instagram: @thelauraaurora

“When will my husband return from war?”

Instagram: @yohubbabubba

“I know the breakup’s been hard man, but you gotta get back in the game.”

Instagram: @notoriousruthie

“Men can be so heartless, Jessica. I need another mimosa.”

Instagram: @xhellguelx

“There, there. It okay.”

Instagram: @zillaandfriends

“Nothing to see here, just a man and his plushy cowboy…”

Instagram: @louie_lefrenchie_

“We’ll get the assorted cheese platter to start. Right, my love?”

Instagram: @monsieurcheffy

“Crackin’ open a cold one with the boys, gnawing on tennis balls… This is frickin’ chiiiiiiiiiiiiiiill.”

Instagram: @sennathepotato

“I know this sounds silly, *girlish giggle* but I feel like I’ve known you forever…”

Instagram: @a__barber

“If I sees a bench, I sits.”

Instagram: @taleofanomad

“You gonna pass the popcorn or what?”

Instagram: @franongram

“So what job are you hoping to get with that degree in ceramics? I think everyone here would LOVE to know.”

Instagram: @lokellogg

*Listens to “A Thousand Miles” by Vanessa Carlton in a prius*

Instagram: @mburds

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